Saturday, April 26, 2014

Diagnosis day

Today is my diagnosis day. (Late in the day for me because time zones.) That means reflection, and also that means cake. I met up with my classmates and a a couple teachers at a bakery and got a cake, and one of my classmates said she was really tempted to sing "Happy Birthday" to me. Which is funny, but also kind of fitting.

See, diagnosis as autistic? It's a big change. It's a big step towards understanding myself, how my mind is put together, how to arrange things so that they make sense to me. It's important. It's not actually a second birthday, but there are some similarities.

And yeah, I know that's totally opposite to how a lot of parents view their children's diagnoses. I'm going to blame the rhetoric around autism for that one, since the idea that autistic people were stolen or that our futures were stolen by the way our brains are put together is unfortunately widespread. But I'm me. I live in the mind that got diagnosed, I know I'm in here because that's my own experience. We're all in our own heads, and better understanding how our minds work is really useful. Getting potentially useful information about how my brain works isn't the starting point of a tragedy unless someone takes that information and uses it to enforce tragedy upon me.

Which I've been lucky: No one's used the information about how my brain works to enforce tragedy on me. This does happen to autistic people (and other disabled people, let's be real,) but remember: autism isn't actually to blame for that. The people enforcing tragedy are.

And I guess those are my thoughts for my diagnosis day. It's not a tragedy to be born autistic, and once you've been born autistic? Finding that out is useful.

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