Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from

Monday, April 30, 2012

Yes, That Too to ‘I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers: #AutismPositivity2012”

Yes, sometimes being autistic stinks. Sensory issues, not getting jokes or sarcasm, having people assume you have an attitude because YOU HAD NO CLUE they were joking/teasing/being sarcastic/asking a rhetorical question. Those parts are a pain. But:
That hand flapping? It's a whole other language for people who understand it, and it usually means OH MY GOD I AM SO HAPPY!!!! Because Autistic and happy are not mutually exclusive. Aspergers specifically and happy are also not mutually exclusive.
When I finally do get to an actual logic-based debate, I can do some serious damage. Like, I didn't do my research at all, I have no evidence, but my opponent just dropped a piece of evidence that actually supports what I want to say if you look at the logic and the science of the matter. And that one mistake will let me win the whole debate anyways. That happened. In college. In an honors class.
And autism is not mutually exclusive with going to college. I don't really do the party thing because I'm just not that interested, but I have had a roommate the whole time, lived on campus, and it's been fine. My professors like me. Even the roommate I was a bad match with is a friend- we just shouldn't room together. The issue there wasn't even an autism problem. It was a ``I go to sleep at 8pm. You go to sleep at 2am. That no workity," problem. I have three majors. College is AWESOME.
And those three majors let me smunch together my ``autistic obsessions." (Life is much, much happier if you admit to having them, decide it's totally fine, and then have fun with said obsessions. It really is. MUAHAHAHAHAHA math. Also MUAHAHAHAHAHA purple. And sewing. And geometric designs. And nanotech.)
I can't speak for you (no one can but you, no matter what anyone says about them speaking for you,) but I know that I personally prefer to stay autistic. This preference is legitimately to the point where if the person offering the cure decided to force the issue, I would probably go into ``I am fighting to kill" mode before letting the them do so. I'd go for the peaceful stuff first, but if it comes down to it, I am staying autistic. Period.

P.S. I totally was not always this cool with being autistic. Mainly when I was still young enough that special ed people could have been abusive if they found out, and gotten away with it by calling it therapy. I was actually the first person to put the pieces together that I was autistic, and I hid it for the longest time. It was seven years from when I figured it out until the second person, a fellow autistic who apparently has autism-dar (like radar) or something, figured what was going on. After that, it was another year until anyone with authority started getting suspicious. By that point, I was a junior in high school who had already gotten a 5 on the AP test for BC Calculus, so it wasn't as if anyone was going to get anywhere trying to use the ``autistic=incompetent" fail. And even though I really did know, it wasn't until very recently that I fully accepted the fact that yes, I am autistic. Not having been diagnosed also meant that no one called it wandering when I went out for walks on my own. Because I did spend a weekend in Beijing entirely alone about a month before I turned seventeen. It was AWESOME, at least in retrospect.


  1. Ok, I love your blog. Love it. :) I'll be adding you to the AutismPositivity webpage soon. (I'm a grad student with quals comin gup = ARGGGGG, NO TIME) But I wanted to let you know we did get your submission - thanks :) p.s. sooooooo following your blog now. You're a lot like me - bouncy, flappy, super excited about school, etc. :)

    1. I'm an undergrad with 2 finals down and 4 to go! And yeah, I got the impression that we had a decent bit in common from reading your blog, which I follow. :) Thankies muchly.

    2. I'm happy you guys connected! :)

  2. Loved this! Really happy you shared it with everyone.

  3. Your third to last sentence reminds me how sick I am of stereotypes and labels. What is the difference really between going for a walk and wandering? A literary theory class I took in college showed me how important words and perception can be. For example, when reporting the news on the Palestinian/Israeli conflict the decision whether to use the word "rocks" or "stones" to describe the weapons thrown by Palestinians at tanks and such is the source of debate. "Stones" has biblical implications and therefore carries different subliminal messages. It is unfortunate that we sometimes feel we have to hide our behavior because its not "normal" or has autistic implications. In your case you weren't diagnosed yet so you were able to enjoy the freedom of going on walks without the unwanted attention. As long as no one is in danger or anything then it's none of their damn business. I can't stop thinking of Andre McCollins being shocked in that video at JRC. How is wanting to keep your jacket on hurting anybody? While that was extreme and thankfully most autistics don't have to deal with that, we have all been bullied for not acting "normal".


I reserve the right to delete comments for personal attacks, derailing, dangerous comparisons, bigotry, and generally not wanting my blog to be a platform for certain things.