Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from

Thursday, July 12, 2012


Trigger Warning: Abuse/murder of autistic people, Ableism
Oh, and I explained where this came from here

For you, it's about the good they've done, what of it there is.
For you, it's about raising awareness.
For you, believing what they say about those who disagree is easy, safe.

For me?

I know it will be life or death for someone like me.
Not think. Know. It already has been, too many times.
It could be MY life or death, some day.
For me, it is not safe,
And that can never be forgotten.

There is fear.
Abject terror that you might be the next to kill
When you tell me how blessed I am
To be able to think for myself.
That someone else might hear you,
Someone who thinks being unable to think makes one less human,
Makes it OK to abuse, to maim, to kill.

You dismiss my fear.
You say that YOU don't think inability to understand makes people less human,
That YOU don't think inability to think makes people less human.
That's great, it really is.
But what of the people who DO think that,
the people who might hear you.

And that inability to understand, to think?
It's been assumed before.
Of people who were abused for it.
Of people who were killed for it.
Of people with more to lose from their ``help" than I do.

Because unlike you,
They cannot pretend that this is a safe discussion.
They know it is life or death.
More likely theirs than mine,
And so more vehement their anger.

My tame fear, my restrained anger?
That's too much for you?
Try for some empathy before claiming I have none.


I reserve the right to delete comments for personal attacks, derailing, dangerous comparisons, bigotry, and generally not wanting my blog to be a platform for certain things.