Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://yesthattoo.blogspot.com/post-specific-URL.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Disabled couple thrilled they'll be able to keep their baby

Trigger Warning: Ableism

http://www.thestar.com/iphone/news/article/1173602--disabled-couple-thrilled-they-ll-be-able-to-keep-their-baby
That's the article I'm talking about. I'm glad they can keep their baby. I really am. BUT:

This is treated as a victory. I see the fact that we even need to ask if a couple who have cerebral palsy, but have demonstrated that they CAN feed and clothe their child, and that they CAN do what they need to do to care for a child, should be allowed to keep their child as a sign that something is very wrong. It's like the couple where they were both blind, had a child, and everyone freaked. If they're living in a way that they've been doing fine themselves, have the supports they need for themselves, and are capable of performing all the actions needed to take care of a kid so long as they are still receiving the supports they need, they can take care of a kid. Cerebral palsy doesn't make you stupid. It messes with muscle control and does tend to cause slurred speech. It doesn't affect cognition. If they've already shown that they have the motor control to change diapers and breastfeed, and if they already have someone helping with the parts they have trouble with, case closed. They aren't abusing the kid, they want to keep the kid, and they are taking care of the kid. That's it. End of story.
And yes, people make that sort of assumption, that disabled equals unable to raise children, fairly often. It just ain't true. Have an amputation? I've seen people with amputations get around and carry things just fine, things heavier than babies. Cerebral palsy? They're clearly pulling it off. Blind? Uh, if you can navigate the world around you without seeing, you can navigate the world around you without seeing. If you need to physically hold onto the baby with one hand to make sure their head stays above water because you can't see to tell, you hold onto the baby. Whoop-dee-do. If it takes both parents to bathe the baby because of that, then it takes both parents. Again, Whoop-dee-do. When people with disabilities finds out they are going to be parents, they think about how they can make it work. They find ways of making it work, given the proper supports. And they succeed, as long as we let them try, which is kind of the opposite of taking the baby away.

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