Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://yesthattoo.blogspot.com/post-specific-URL.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Trusting My Body

Trigger Warning for eating disorders- I'm not talking about them, but the content of this post may be triggering for those who have or are in recovery from an eating disorder. Also for potentially dangerous results of really bad body awareness.

I trust my body and I don't. I do, in that whatever information it gives me, I trust to be good information. If my body says I'm hungry, I believe it. (Having the energy and executive functioning to do anything about it is sometimes a different story, but I believe it.) If my body says it really, really wants food X, I'm going to attempt to get it and eat it. I also trust that my body really does need food when it craves a specific food. Want something salty? I'm on it. Craving pasta? Pasta it is. Craving meat? Meat it is. Really, really want a falafel wrap and everything else sounds icky? I guess I'm having a falafel wrap, then. I don't do the whole wait 20 minutes thing, either. I just eat it. Feel full now? Ok, I guess I'm done eating. I can save the rest for later. What my body tells me it needs, it gets. So I wind up with a lot of olives and a lot of milk and a lot of falafel wraps and some chocolate and a decent bit of pasta and some pepperoni and sometimes some chicken or something. Not much in the way of typical breakfast food, though I do usually eat breakfast. Usually. If I have the executive functioning to acquire food before I need to leave for whatever else it is that I'm needing to do that day.
And I've been eating this way for a while. It works for me. Mostly. I mean, it's not the "ONE BIG REASON" that I'm pretty healthy or anything, largely because there is no one big reason. It's part of the picture. I do that, I am physically able to play sports, I do play sports, I'm reasonably lucky. I'm not thin and presumably never will be-bone structure is a thing and all. I'm actually pretty close to the average size for a woman in the USA, and I'm at a size where sure, the doctor nags me to lose weight, but they'll still check for what could be causing any problem I have rather than assuming that it's somehow caused by my weight and telling me to lose weight and come back. Which is a thing they shouldn't be doing to anyone anyways, even if their weight is causing the problem, but that's kind of a different story than what I'm talking about here. I'm more talking about my specific body and my trusting what information it gives me, just not necessarily that it will give me the information it should in a timely manner, like that I'm hungry or tired or in pain or thirsty or needing to pee.
"Full" is about the only one it's consistent about telling me. If I'm not craving a specific food, I often have to figure out hungry from a headache, some crankyness, and a decreased ability to think. If I run out of spoons at 6pm all of a sudden, oh, wait, what have I eaten today? Oh, I forgot to EAT A MEAL today. Maybe I should do that. After I've been awake for 12 hours. Or the time that I fractured a bone in my foot and then went hiking the next day because my body was failing at the whole "Tell Alyssa that the broken bone in the foot hurts" thing. Or "Huh, I kind of need the bathroom" will turn out to actually mean I'm barely going to make it to the toilet. Or "I kind of want some milk" will turn out to mean I was really dehydrated. Or I won't realize that I'm cold until it's getting close to an actual danger point.
I can't always trust that my body will tell me anything at all, which is frustrating, (Body awareness? What's that?) but I can and do trust what it manages to tell me. It works well enough, when it doesn't lead to my running out of energy because I forgot to eat for 12 busy waking hours.


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