Humorous Dialogue

This is an old dialogue a friend and I did in class. I think it was 10th grade that we did it. The translations into English are as I go through it now, though. A is me, D is him, (random person on the street) was another classmate we grabbed for that purpose. 
Oh, and please suspend disbelief. The events of the dialogue are meant to be bizarre, not realistic.

A: 你好。 (Hi.)

D: 你好。 (Hi.)

A: 你好吗？ (How are you?)

D: 好，你呢？ (Good, you?)

A: 好 ，可是我有问题 。我赢了两张歌剧票。 (Good. But I have a problem. I won two opera tickets.)

D: 那太好了！你跟谁去？ (That's great! Who are you going with?)

A: 我不知道 。 (I don't know.)

D: 你有什么问题？ (What's the problem?)

A: . . . 你有没有护照？ (. . . Do you have a passport?)

D: 有。 为什么？ (Yeah. Why?)

A: 下个周末你想去北京看《猴王》吗？ (Do you want to go to Beijing to see "The Monkey King" next weekend?"

D: 歌剧在北京！那是你的问题吗？ (The opera is in Beijing! Is that your problem?)

A: 对。我有护照， 可是我没有签证。(Yup. I've got a passport, but not a visa.)

D: 你有问题。(You've got a problem.)


下个周末，在北京 (The next weekend, in Beijing.)


D: 我们在哪儿？ (Where are we?)

A: 我不知道。我是美国人！ (I don't know. I'm an American!)

D: 安静。我也是美国人。 (Shut up, I'm American too.)
怎么去北京歌剧？(How do we get to the opera?)

A: 我不知道！ (I don't know!)

D: 我没问你！ 我问了他。请问，怎么去北京歌剧？  (I wasn't asking you! I was asking him. Excuse me, how do we get to the Beijing opera?)

random person on street: 就到了， 你看！ (You're at it- look!)

D: 哎！谢谢！(Oh! Thanks!)

same random person:  别客气！(Don't mention it!)


看歌剧以后 (After the opera)

D: 《猴王》很好！("The Monkey King" was really good!)

A: 我同意。我们回家把。 (I agree. Let's go home.)

D: 怎么去机场？(Where's the airport)

A: 我不知道！ (I don't know!)

D: 你为什么不带地图？ (Why didn't you bring a map?)

A: 我不会看地图因为地图是中国的地图！ (I can't read it map because they're Chinese maps!)

D: 带美国地图把！ (Get an American one!) [I meant to write English, as in language, but, well, language students mess stuff up sometimes.]

A: 我们不在美国， 在中国。(We're not in America, we're in China.)