Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://yesthattoo.blogspot.com/post-specific-URL.

Friday, September 5, 2014

"stay away from autistic person"

This is another search term that has brought at least one person to my blog.

In general, no, you don't need to stay away from autistic people. Actually, it'd be kind of bad to make that a general thing that you do always. Being included in stuff (which is not the same as having our presence grudgingly tolerated or having people refuse to do basic stuff that makes it easier for us to be somewhere) is actually really nice! I like getting to do things with people, sometimes.

But there are times when "stay away" is the thing to do.


  1. Meltdown.
    Autistic people wanting everyone and everything to go away when they are melted down or shut down is pretty common, especially if overload was a contributing factor. It's not every autistic person, but "stay away" in the form of "give space" is a decent starting point for an autistic person who is melted down or shut down.
  2. Request!
    Sometimes an Autistic person will ask you to back off a bit, because you are in their space. This is similar to when, oh, anyone you didn't know was autistic asks you to back off a bit because you are in their space: you should do so. If someone says "too close" or something similar, or they start backing away, respect that. Seriously.

    This also goes for if someone asks you to go away because they are overloaded and can't deal with people right now. Respect that.
  3. If you have trouble seeing us as human.
    If you have trouble seeing autistic and human as being traits that a person can have simultaneously, you should fix that before you knowingly or intentionally spend time with autistic people. I mean before. I do not mean "try to learn it by spending time with the poor dears" or some such, because frankly, the way that you'll probably be taught to see and work with us in those kinds of things makes that problem worse, not better.

    So if you have trouble with the idea that autistic and human are not mutually exclusive and that we are already real people while being autistic (including if "person with autism" is the only way you can remember that we are people, which is different from having been taught to use it by people who prefer it because it also theoretically provides that reminder) then you should probably stay away from autistic people. That's not for your sake, by the way. If it's for this reason, it's to protect us from you

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