Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Words From a Reader (And my reactions)

 Trigger warning: Ableism, slurs
Anonymous from a reader, with permission. If it's in the block quotes, it's from them. If not, it's from me.
I am tired of my family framing my Autism as the reasons for why "I'm a freak" or "I'm crazy" or "I don't know how to show love [in the narrow ways they keep hoping for]". 
This is what happens to us. Because the way we show, well, everything, is different, they say we have no emotions, or we don't know how to show love. If we were dominant, I suppose we could say the same of you, since the way you show love is not the way we do. But you're not, and we can't, and so the difference is just an impairment. 
What about the beautiful parts of Autism, like my extreme passion for languages, linguistics, acupuncture, and music? What about my synesthesia, my audiation ("mental iPod")? What about the fact I remember phone numbers and addresses off-hand, with little to no effort? What about the fact that I derive extreme pleasure from the littlest things like the soft touch of a blanket or being awoken by my dog's fur against my face?
Or silky bindings on blankets, or when light and shadow is just so? Remember the obsessive joy of autism, and remember it well. Remember that there were things to say, things to write, for AutismPositivity and for Autistic Pride Day.
And what about the fact that I can and do love, hard and deep? Just because I don't show it in the traditional present-giving phone-calling ways doesn't mean I don't feel it. Is there no tolerance for the diverse ways in which human beings express themselves, experience, and feel? 
 There should be. There really should. But autism is pathologized well beyond that which is actually impairment. Ableism is to blame for a lot of the problems we face, more so than our actual impairments. This is just one more example. Because no matter how much we claim to want diversity, we keep proving that it scares us. Once more, it's scaring people, and once more, the fear is hurting those of us who are different.
Autism is Beautiful and I am proud to call myself Autistic.
Never stop, then. I will join you.
I'm proud to call myself Queer too. Is there no beauty in the fact that I love, regardless of biological sex, gender identity, or expression?
There is. People have a tendency not to see it, but there is.
Like many Autistics, I have PTSD but it is all a part of who I am. If it weren't for the experiences that gave me PTSD, I wouldn't have found my career path or realized that aspirations are meant to be realized. I wouldn't have the deep appreciation for things that many people take for granted--such as the right to my own body (physical, mental and emotional), and the right for every human being to be treated with respect simply for living. Yes, there are times when my Autism can be distressing, and I'll be honest--PTSD can be very distressing. But I wouldn't give up the distressing parts if it meant I also had to give up the beauty, appreciation, and RADICAL LOVE I feel every day, thanks to my life experiences.

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