Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Zisk, Alyssa Hillary. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Zisk, A. H. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Energy isn't infinite

Trigger Warning: References to abuse, murder of autistic people

I've been trying to keep the flash blog page updated. Trying.
I've also been making sure to keep up with my Chinese language classes. That's not exactly optional, though the people running my program and I have slightly different priorities. They think of the dedicated language classes as the big important thing and the direct enrollment classes in our majors as a bit of a side bonus. I think of the direct enrollment classes as the reason that I chose this program and the dedicated language classes as something that is a bit of a side thing. So that's always fun.
Class discussions are pretty good, I had the opportunity to explain in Chinese that I think interest is a better motivator in kids education than fear and explain why. [Fear is kind of paralytic unless it triggers your flight or fight, and none of "shut down," "fight," or "flight" are exactly conducive to learning. Interest=WOOT LEARN EVERYTHING.]
But the flash blog. And the feminist wire. Activism is exhausting. Folks want to know where I was when [insert murder-mommy here] was raising funds for their kid's abusive treatments? (The super-expensive ones are pretty much all abusive, FYI.) I was trying to keep my own life together. I was doing a decent job of it, too. Actually reaching parents so they can realize that their kid being the way their kid is is OK? That there is always an Antecedent to the Behavior, and that figuring out what it is is generally going to help more than just trying to control the behavior? Because we don't actually act out in isolation, strange as that sounds? Not as well as I'd like to, clearly, since folks still think that getting in a kids face all the time is the way to teach them not to get in people's faces. #irony. Folks also seem to still think that raising money to pay for abusive treatments is helping? Yeah no it's not. I'm not going to help pay for the Antecedent to the Behavior. Or for giving a kid PTSD. So they can back off.
Feminist Wire is engaging now. Which is great. But yes, it takes energy too. Being a guest editor of a forum? Takes energy. Helping make the call be accessible (or doing a versioning thing, either way)? Takes energy. Energy I'm more than happy to put in, yes, energy I'd even offered to put in. That doesn't make it stop being energy. I have a limited amount of that. Thankfully writing things and reading things are pretty small energy drains for me (as long as the thing I'm reading is accessible, I mean.) And I'm not 100% sure I trust it, since when am I ever 100% sure that people who started out not-good are actually going to do something right? Not until after they've already done it right and it's too late to mess it up. If even then. But I'll work with folks who are making attempts.
Oh, and China. I do need to remember that I'm in China for a reason. And that's Chinese. Which I'm doing. And I think I'm doing well with, too. First lesson pretest went well, anyways. Of course, they add all kinds of extra stuff that isn't what I need while not giving me the stuff they said they would. Like a roommate with a major similar to mine? Yeah I got one who majors in teaching Chinese to foreigners. Which is nothing like a math major. At all. Nope. And the answer I get when I bring this up to my academic director? Find friends in your math class. Right, because making friends is something I know how to do! OH WAIT, NO IT'S NOT! Yeah. Um. Probably not going to have anyone I can go to for math class trouble, because what is this theoretically knowing how to make friends? It's not a thing I know how to do. Unless someone reaches out to me, it pretty much doesn't happen. Or if they're autistic. Maybe there will be someone autistic in my class. They won't know that they are, but they might be there? Please?

1 comment:

  1. Oh no! I hope friends find you in your math classes!

    (Also, in regards to Internet things/updating the flash blog and stuff, idk if there is anything I could do to help, since things might have been submitted straight to you or whatnot, and also you don't really know me, so idk how much you trust me, but I'll be pretty free the next week or so, so if there is any Internet stuff I could do to help, menial labor and whatnot, you can email me and let me know. (I really don't know if there is but I thought I would offer and hopefully it isn't too presumptuous)).

    (If not, you don't even need to make a response to this because I know making responses when busy is a lot of work and also it might be easier to just do things than to delegate, but maybe not. Since I'm not sure what specifically needs to be done)

    (Oh and the email would be sleepwakehopeandthenblog at


I reserve the right to delete comments for personal attacks, derailing, dangerous comparisons, bigotry, and generally not wanting my blog to be a platform for certain things.