Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Zisk, Alyssa Hillary. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Zisk, A. H. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from

Thursday, May 9, 2013

How To Hide

Trigger Warning: ALL THE GASLIGHTING, internalized.

Even when speech is hard, requires intense effort and thought, speak. When you absolutely can't, let them think you're just quiet. Or maybe stupid. Don't correct them. When they yell at you on the field for not calling something out yet again, let them believe you don't understand. Convince yourself you just didn't realize you should have shouted. Look at people's noses. Look at people's foreheads. Save your flapping for times when "shaking out an injury" is a plausible explanation, tell people that's what you're doing. When they tell you to toughen up, look down. This talk is one of the few times you don't have to look at them, take advantage. But make sure it's down, not up, or they will say you aren't listening. Keep to yourself. Be the quiet one, even when you can speak, so that no one notices when you can't. Don't make friends. They would notice. Don't flap. Let them think you're stuck up, when quiet isn't enough. Don't cover your ears during fire drills. Don't jump when the bell rings. When you screw up, laugh along with them. Never let them see you cry. And for god's sake, do not pull out pen and paper to speak. No matter how important what you want to say might be, it can wait. It has to wait. Because you're just quiet. You could have said it before, you were just scared. Believe your own lies. You're stuck up, you're quiet, you're anti-social, you don't understand when you should call for help, you're not willing to ask even when you know you need it, you're a wimp, you're lazy. Don't correct them. Don't correct yourself. You deserve the bullying.


  1. When the world throws you shit, compost it.

  2. This. This. This.

    This is what allistic people don't get. I'm fairly sure they'd only see a problem with your last sentence.

  3. Holy fuck yes, this.

    Also: Never, never, never believe what adults tell you about telling authority figures when you're being bullied, that grown-ups will put a stop to it. They lie. They lie, lie, lie, lie.

    And if they hear about it later, let them believe they would do something about it, even though you know they wouldn't.


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