I wrote all my poems for NaPoWriMo on time, I swear! But they're all stuck in an Open Office document and I'm not sure which one is for which day. So... let's just call these 22-24?
On My Team
Your child is still your child.
Whatever you're feeling is valid.
It's a sad day, we know.
But:
Autism: 0, You: 1
Have you read a word I've ever written?
There is no zero-sum game.
My autism and I have the same score.
What
is that score?
I'm
not sure,
I'm
still playing.
The
game has only just begun.
And
autism?
It's
playing on my team.
神经多样性。
五个字。
说：
我的脑子不是坏的。
你的脑子也不是坏的。
“不一样”和“错误”是两件事。
我不是错误。
我是人。
Anniversary
I
stand in front of you.
I tell
you exactly who I am.
I am a
college student,
And I
am Autistic.
And
yet, and yet, and yet you assume,
I must
be a parent,
I must
be writing about my child,
An
anniversary of diagnosis must be for my child.
No,
it's for me.
An
anniversary of diagnosis must bring back sadness.
No, it
is a victory for understanding and hope.
An
anniversary of diagnosis is a difficult day.
No, I
want a cake. (Or ice cream. Ice cream is good.)
An
anniversary of diagnosis is a day to reflect.
That
much, at least, is true.
But
what to reflect on, what to think?
Autism:
0, You: 1?
This
is not zero-sum
Defeating
autism?
We're
not separate.
Remembering
that my child (what child? I have no child yet) is still my child?
How
could I forget that?
How
could a different neurology cause anyone
to forget that?
I sought to pour my wisdom into her
ReplyDeletecreate a breathing, pulsing masterpiece;
to mold, contrive, the best of me transfer
through constant love labor. I would not cease.
Pearls from my outstretched hand strewn, skipping
loosened by flailing hands and kicking feet.
Nectar painstakingly gathered dripping
into pools of shed tears: Why she? Why me?
Not lump of soft clay, but fully formed girl.
Screaming for me from old manners to stray.
Tightly held blossom, waiting to unfurl.
At long last I learn: get out of the way.
Through drawing and singing her sparkle shines.
Years pass. Then, revealed, glimmers of mine.