Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from

Saturday, October 20, 2012


I have been told that everyone is in a game of chess with everyone else, trying to figure out who is telling the truth and who is lying and who isn't telling them everything and who likes them and who is out to get them.
I didn't get it.
I didn't get how you could tell all this from a gesture, or the tone of someone's voice. I still don't get how, but I've been told that it can be done. I'll have to take their word for it.
And me? Well, what I can see isn't zero. If someone makes it really obvious that they don't really want to do something, I can usually tell. What I see is maybe a checkerboard instead.
So imagine that you are sitting across from someone you know to be playing chess, but you can't tell their pieces apart. Their pieces may as well all be checkers. And all you have (or all you see that you have) is also checkers. Maybe they really are chess pieces- other people seem to think that my different pieces work differently, anyways. I can't see how, though, so I can't tell you which checker is the queen and which is a pawn. Which means I can't tell how big the threat you are making or how big the threat I am making or how balanced the position looks or anything. I don't know if I just made an illegal move, because I am playing checkers and you are playing chess. It just doesn't make sense to me.
And you?
You see a chessboard, and here is this person using her pieces to play checkers. She moved her rook diagonally one space, for Pete's sake! Or, well, I did some social equivalent of "illegal and probably not all that useful move." You're probably just as confused as I am, actually. The difference is that when you find a different opponent, said opponent will be playing by the same rules you are. When I find a different opponent, I probably find someone who is still playing by rules I don't (can't) understand.
You can choose to interact with people whose social moves make sense. I can't really do that. I have to use my checkers as best I can in this worldwide game of chess, and it is exhausting.

1 comment:

  1. Your fellow autistics will gladly play checkers with you. I am more than happy to be a sarcasm interpreter for any of my friends during offline interaction.


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