Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Zisk, Alyssa Hillary. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Zisk, A. H. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I thought you said you didn't want to go!

Sometimes I laugh at things I do because I am autistic. Sometimes I laugh at the things the neurotypicals do!

Recently, I was invited to something. The friend who invited me KNOWS that I'm autistic and sometimes brutally honest. I told him that I didn't think I could because I'd probably be scrambling to get my research presentation ready for later that day. He took this to mean that I must not want to go, since neurotypical folk apparently make that kind of excuse to mean that they do not want to. (No, I do not know why people do that. It makes no sense, winds up communicating the same thing, but eliminates the ability to communicate "I'd like to, but I legitimately can't make it work.")
Anyways, I found out that I did not need to make a presentation that day, so I sent him a message saying that I didn't actually need to make a presentation that day. He didn't get the message, though. (Whoops!) So we met up on campus, and then we found his friend, and I hung out with them. He was very confused. Eventually I had to leave for class.
Once he got my message (several hours later but still the same day) he was even more confused. "I thought you said you didn't want to go!"
Well, no. I said that I didn't think I'd be able to because my research responsibilities would probably prevent it, which is different. He just read it as my not wanting to go because that's how neurotypicals apparently read explaining why you can't go as meaning that you don't want to go. Even knowing that I don't really do that, he still read it that way. No one was upset with anyone or anything like that. It was just amusing to see how the social skills play out.
Basically, neurotypical communication does not seem to include a way to say that you would like to accept an invitation except for that part where you can't actually go, and this is a real weakness to it. It's even worse when dealing with people like me, who don't get that can't=don't want to in neurotypical speak, either when hearing it or when speaking it. Because I have real trouble with that. I have to either take my risks with misinterpretation or somehow manage to make it work, and this leads to be being pretty nervous every time I get an invitation. Hi, social anxiety! I know you aren't the same thing as being autistic, but there seems to be a pretty high correlation of autistic people also having social anxiety.

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