Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Zisk, Alyssa Hillary. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Zisk, A. H. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Broken Phone

I wrote this for creative writing a couple years ago. I think it's the intro to something a la Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I love that series!
“Unh?” Josh groaned. He picked up his cell phone, which was still broken in two pieces, and answered it. “S’ret, are you aware this phone is in two pieces?”
“I’m sure the story of how your phone broke is very interesting, but there’s a bigger problem right now.”
“No, not really. I dropped it. What’s interesting is that it’s now working, which it never did before I dropped it. So, why are you calling me at three am? ”
“Right… You might want to sit down,” S’ret answered.
“I’m still lying down! You woke me up. Now spit it out before I hang up and go back to sleep,” Josh said.
“Did I ever tell you that S’ret isn’t my whole name? It’s really Wosret.”
“Don’t care.”
“Would you care if I was an Egyptian goddess?”
“I’d say you were crazy and soon to receive a knuckle sandwich. As soon as I see you, you’re getting one.” This had to be a bad joke, a really bad joke.
“Doubtful. Anyways, I am. And we need a mortal- no danger, but it’s got to be a mortal with no magic whatsoever. A musician would be nice.”
“What the @%*# for?!” Josh demanded. “I don’t trust people who say there’s no danger until I know what I’m going to be doing. Plus I still think you’re crazy.”
“It’s complicated. Would I get anything weird embedded in me if I suddenly appeared six cubits to your right?”
“As opposed to something normal embedded in you?! How much is a cubit?”
“Sorry, old units. How’s ten feet to your right?”
“S’ret, that would be inside a tree. Don’t do that, not that you could.”
“Okay, give me coordinates relative to you so I can show up without putting two things in one place,” S’ret said.
“Two feet in front of me is good.”
“Thanks. I’ll explain in person. See you.”
Josh heard the click that meant S’ret had hung up on him. He cursed. Then S’ret was standing in two feet in front of him- probably a hallucination, but whatever. He punched her in the face, hard. She didn’t flinch, and it didn’t leave a mark. Definitely a hallucination.
“I admit that I probably deserved that. I didn’t break this the best way possible, but it’s kind of an emergency. It’s also complicated. Can I explain on the way?”
Josh stared. Well, why not? “Sure. Let’s make this hallucination interesting. Where too?”
“Not somewhere you can define in English. We’d need three or four extra dimensions, plus a way of naming other universes by how they are arranged in those dimensions. Take my hand now.”
He did. Then everything was gone, except S’ret was still next to him. “What the…”
“It’s fine. We’re between universes right now. So, the explanation. There’s this instrument- sort of a cross between a trombone and a harp by your terms. It’s got an enchantment on it so that if someone has any magic, trying to play it will burn that someone to a crisp. Thing is, we need it played or else a bunch of worlds are going to have big problems.”
“So I play a weird instrument, save some worlds, go home, and that’s it?” Josh asked.
“Well, no. It’s a bit more complicated. But you’ll be fine,” S’ret said.
A world appeared. Josh felt like he had stepped into a mosaic of Ancient Egypt and Greece. “Are those the pyramids?”
“Sort of. Your pyramids were based on these.. We’re going to that building though.” S’ret pointed across the river that was probably the Nile, at what appeared to be the Statue of Zeus.
“But that’s Greek! And it got destroyed!”
“Not here it didn’t. And Zeus is in charge of this mess, so we meet at his place. We’ll probably wind up visiting Athena at the Parthenon later, but we’ve got to bring you to the head honcho first.

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