Monday, May 14, 2012
Why Yes, I DO Flap My Hands. Deal With It.
I am autistic. I flap my hands. A lot. Happy flaps, excited flaps,
ARGH-BAD-GET-IT-AWAY-FROM-ME-NOW flaps, can’t think of the word I want
flaps, stressed flaps, and they are all different. Pretty much the only
thing I don’t have a hand-flap for is boredom. With the exception of the
excited flap, I can usually control them, but often choose not to. Just
because the folk who aren’t themselves autistic don’t understand,
doesn’t mean it’s bad, and flapping doesn’t hurt anyone. I have bigger
fish to fry, especially since flapping helps me regulate the not good
reasons that I flap and enhances the yes good reasons that I flap.
FLAPPITY FLAPPITY FLAP.
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Me too! And I spin. I. Love. To. Spin!
ReplyDeleteMy flap for boredom: elbow on my pillow, wrist in the air swinging horizontally.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky, in that my stimming usually comes in the form of tapping my feet. I can do it all day and nobody notices! I don't get dirty or weird looks for it! It's very comforting to be able to do what I need to do, but that's because it's something that neurotypical people also do (though less than I do). I wish everyone on the spectrum had that, and it shouldn't have to be because it fits into a "normal" activity.
ReplyDeleteMy other stimming is pacing. That was a problem in college. My roommates *hated* it, and I never had the money for a single room. They'd say I should go outside and take a walk, and I never was able to make them understand that while I like taking walks, it does *not* fulfill the same function as pacing. (Also, this was Iowa in the winter time. Do I want to go out and take a walk in 0F weather? No, I do not!)
Sometimes I snap, too, but again that fits into the whole "normal" thing so a lot of people don't notice.
I've never been diagnosed with autism but I often wonder if I might be on the spectrum. My biggest stim is that when I realize I'm alone (when I go into the basement or get out of the shower usually) I will often have a combination of flapping my hands and making panicked-laughing-shrieking noises that I can't describe all that well. When I get mad I twitch and clench my toes. Sometimes if I'm laying in bed or sitting on the couch I'll raise my arm and just hold it in the air for a really long time, like I'm waiting to get called on in class. This is the only stim my boyfriend has seen from me, and so he doesn't believe my when I tell him I flap my hands.
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