Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://yesthattoo.blogspot.com/post-specific-URL.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Anxiety

More thAutcast questions. This one can be found here, and it reads:
Anxiety can make learning difficult for many autistic people. Tell about a time when you had a difficult time learning something because you were worried or nervous. You might include what made you anxious and how the anxiety affected you.
Anxiety has mostly been a problem with social stuff, for me.
Academically, my parents have always believed that I am capable, and the ways in which teachers occasionally disagreed were sufficiently ridiculous that I could ignore and laugh at them. (Sorry, I'm not going to listen to a complaint about my "not understanding" my math homework when I didn't do it because I was reading a calculus text. No, wait, I'm not sorry. At all.)
Since it was always assumed that I could, in fact, learn the academic stuff, that was never an anxiety source. It helped, of course, that I always could learn my academic stuff well enough that I didn't get into too much trouble about it. The whole states and capitals thing was the only time I ever couldn't, and I'm not actually sure how they didn't make a big deal out of it? I dunno. They didn't, though.
Socially, though, it has been a mess.
In fifth grade, a girl attached herself to me, and it was actually a problem. The special education department helped her do so, since she apparently behaved herself better around me. Unfortunately, she was also all kinds of manipulative and abusive and it was bad.
In sixth grade, I took avoiding her into my own hands.
First, I sat at the peanut free table.
She started bringing peanut free lunches.
So I listened to what she said.
She was terrified of boys.
I wasn't.
I was just terrified of people in general.
Boys were actually slightly better- they at least made sense to me.
I sat at a table where I was the only girl.
I ate in silence for a month because of social anxiety.
Yes, a month.
Eventually I started talking to them.
They wound up being my friends all through middle and high school.
One of them is at the same university of me, doing mechanical engineering. We have a lot of classes together, and we both fence. It's actually pretty cool.
Others I am still friends with too, mostly.
About half of us are studying some form of engineering.
Eventually, I did become friends with them, all of them, and I still am. But it took a month sitting there in silence before I could work up the nerve to speak.
That's anxiety for you.

1 comment:

  1. This blog is awesome! Thank you for the insight. xxoo

    ReplyDelete

I reserve the right to delete comments for personal attacks, derailing, dangerous comparisons, bigotry, and generally not wanting my blog to be a platform for certain things.