I Wish They Had Done

Trigger Warning: Shaming for disability

I wish they had understood the idea that a person could be both gifted and disabled.
I wish they had understood that I was not just being lazy, that I really did not understand what to do or how to do it.
I wish they had understood that there was no way to make my handwriting better.
I wish they had understood that social interactions really didn't make sense, that I wasn't trying to be rude.
I wish they had understood that when someone is, in fact, gifted and disabled, the answer is to accommodate both, not to make them choose one to take care of (still fairly poorly,) and the other to ignore.

I wish they had not tried to force cursive on me.
I wish they had not shamed my disorganization, not called me lazy when the ways they thought were universal could not work for me.
I wish they had thought to try to find a method that I could use, rather than shame me for not being able to organize their way.
I wish my teachers had cared, had done something, when they noticed I was being bullied.
I wish that when they taught me social skills (or tried to,) they had taught me social skills the way they are actually done.
I wish they had known that sitting still is not a prerequisite for learning.
I wish they had not taken my fidget toys.
I wish they had realized sooner that keeping me from skipping ahead would never teach me organization.

Mostly, I wish that people as a whole understood that Autistic does not mean broken, so that I would not have had to hide, so that I could have gotten actual help had people known instead of attempts to break the person I am to fix the person I never was.