Note For Anyone Writing About Me

Guide to Writing About Me

I am an Autistic person,not a person with autism. I am also not Aspergers. The diagnosis isn't even in the DSM anymore, and yes, I agree with the consolidation of all autistic spectrum stuff under one umbrella. I have other issues with the DSM.

I don't like Autism Speaks. I'm Disabled, not differently abled, and I am an Autistic activist. Self-advocate is true, but incomplete.

Citing My Posts

MLA: Hillary, Alyssa. "Post Title." Yes, That Too. Day Month Year of post. Web. Day Month Year of retrieval.

APA: Hillary, A. (Year Month Day of post.) Post Title. [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://yesthattoo.blogspot.com/post-specific-URL.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

What Does it Mean to be an Ally?

It doesn't mean being right 100% of the time.
It means that when you aren't sure, you say so.
It means that when you were wrong, you admit to it.
It doesn't mean loving getting sworn at by the people you are hoping to help.
It means fixing what you did wrong the first time you are told.
If you're getting sworn at, it means you screwed up- badly.
It probably means you also denied it, wouldn't fix it the first time, which is worse.
It means fixing things quickly enough that people from the group you want to help don't even want to swear at you.
It means understanding that being handed a pile of facts is different from being handed a pile of hate.
It means understanding that if you claim to be an ally and then screw up, it's going to be much worse than if you had not claimed allyship before messing up,
It means understanding that your claimed allyship will not protect you from the consequences of your mistake, which can include a loss of trust.
It means understanding that you will not have the first-hand experience of the issues, and therefore listening to what people who have been there say does and doesn't work.
It means understanding that the actual priorities might not be the ones you thought were most important, and accepting them for what they are, not for what you wish they were.
It means examining your privileges critically and regularly.
It means you don't get to decide who does and doesn't speak for the cause.
It means you don't get to tell people from the group that they are bad for the cause.

3 comments:

  1. I have to disagree with a cluster of statements. The statements pertaining to being sworn at. That does not reflect on the actions of the person, but rather the person doing the swearing. It is never okay, for any reason, to treat another human being without respect and consideration. I don't want people to think that it's okay for others to act like this for any reason. You don't deserve to be sworn at for any reason, and if someone is doing that to you, you should consider removing them from your life. You don't need that negativity. You might mess up, but that does not justify being treated in an unfair matter.

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  2. When people mess up they're treating people unfairly. A lot of the time when people swear and get really angry at allies it's because the ally did something really offensive and disrespectful. Instead of policing the person getting angry at oppressive people, tell the oppressive people not to be offensive and disrespectful.

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  3. This is a really good list btw.

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I reserve the right to delete comments for personal attacks, derailing, dangerous comparisons, bigotry, and generally not wanting my blog to be a platform for certain things.